Spring has sprung. Do you feel it?
My yard
Goodbye boots. Hello cute flowered flats in green grass.
Goodbye rain. Hello playtime outdoors!
My daily drive.
The Bay Area is breathtaking in springtime!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Fashion Forward?
I've been thinking a lot about my wardrobe lately. Shallow? Maybe. But clothing is necessary and I'm sort of going through a "metamorphosis" at the moment and my clothes have been a part of it. Since January 1 I have lost 16 pounds (and have 10-15 more to go before I'm at my goal.) Two pregnancies, being a stay at home mom who's too close to the pantry, and an overall "meh" attitude toward exercise for the majority of my life have not been kind to my figure. I have clothes that range in size from 2 to 12. Some are new with tags, some are ten years old. Some are well worn and loved. Some are "one time" pieces that may or may not be worn again. As I look through my closet one thing is very clear...I have no specific "style" but I'm also not a slave to trends. My wardrobe is functional, but definitely not on the cutting edge of fashion.
In high school I was all about the sheer volume of my closet. I'm not exaggerating when I confess that I had enough clothes that I didn't repeat any single item from the start of school in September until at least Thanksgiving. I had green rubber shoes. I had purple jeans. And more earrings than the sale rack at Claire's. I also had a spiral perm, big ol' bangs, and occasionally matched my eye makeup to my outfits. Oh yeah, baby. This was the 80's!
I've never been too big on brand names and have always enjoyed the "thrill of the hunt" for "good deals" at places like TJ Maxx and Marshall's. Department stores still somewhat intimidate me, but I do love a good outlet mall. As I survey what is currently filling my closet, I see that probably 50% of my wardrobe is from Gap (or more likely, Gap outlet.) I have a few items from Anthropologie, a handful of basics from Target, and a bit of Limited and Nordstrom for good measure. But it's really just a hodge podge...and that's OK. As for shoes, I'm a bit more picky due to foot problems, but I don't buy (what I consider) expensive shoes unless they're on sale. In San Diego I lived in wedge sandals and flip flops, but unfortunately NorCal requires more "sensible" shoes due to the weather. I've learned that boots can be fun, too!
I periodically read fashion blogs looking for inspiration...and I'm most impressed with "normal" women who make the most of what they already have by accessorizing with a new accessory or two as opposed to women (trophy wives?) who purchase brand new brand name wardrobes every season. Even if I had an unlimited clothing budget I don't think I'd feel comfortable dropping thousands of dollars on clothing four times a year when I know that I'll only want new trendy items in a few months. It just seems silly. The writer of one blog I used to read (I don't any more because it just got nauseating) admitted that she owned over 60 bathing suits and 20 Juicy Couture track suits. Another woman just recently bought 5 pairs of the same exact $200 jeans. Another writer purchases a new Louis Vuitton handbag (about $1000) every season. Really? When there are people who have nothing?
As a stay at home mom I have no need for a closet full of cocktail dresses and stilletos...jeans and t-shirts are more my speed. I may not be fashion forward, but I'm not necessarily frumpy either. Women like me exist. Women who like to look cute but don't plan their lives around the seasonal shifts of their wardrobes. At 38, my days of low rise jeans are over, but I won't be buying "Not Your Daughter's Jeans" anytime soon either.
In high school I was all about the sheer volume of my closet. I'm not exaggerating when I confess that I had enough clothes that I didn't repeat any single item from the start of school in September until at least Thanksgiving. I had green rubber shoes. I had purple jeans. And more earrings than the sale rack at Claire's. I also had a spiral perm, big ol' bangs, and occasionally matched my eye makeup to my outfits. Oh yeah, baby. This was the 80's!
I've never been too big on brand names and have always enjoyed the "thrill of the hunt" for "good deals" at places like TJ Maxx and Marshall's. Department stores still somewhat intimidate me, but I do love a good outlet mall. As I survey what is currently filling my closet, I see that probably 50% of my wardrobe is from Gap (or more likely, Gap outlet.) I have a few items from Anthropologie, a handful of basics from Target, and a bit of Limited and Nordstrom for good measure. But it's really just a hodge podge...and that's OK. As for shoes, I'm a bit more picky due to foot problems, but I don't buy (what I consider) expensive shoes unless they're on sale. In San Diego I lived in wedge sandals and flip flops, but unfortunately NorCal requires more "sensible" shoes due to the weather. I've learned that boots can be fun, too!
I periodically read fashion blogs looking for inspiration...and I'm most impressed with "normal" women who make the most of what they already have by accessorizing with a new accessory or two as opposed to women (trophy wives?) who purchase brand new brand name wardrobes every season. Even if I had an unlimited clothing budget I don't think I'd feel comfortable dropping thousands of dollars on clothing four times a year when I know that I'll only want new trendy items in a few months. It just seems silly. The writer of one blog I used to read (I don't any more because it just got nauseating) admitted that she owned over 60 bathing suits and 20 Juicy Couture track suits. Another woman just recently bought 5 pairs of the same exact $200 jeans. Another writer purchases a new Louis Vuitton handbag (about $1000) every season. Really? When there are people who have nothing?
As a stay at home mom I have no need for a closet full of cocktail dresses and stilletos...jeans and t-shirts are more my speed. I may not be fashion forward, but I'm not necessarily frumpy either. Women like me exist. Women who like to look cute but don't plan their lives around the seasonal shifts of their wardrobes. At 38, my days of low rise jeans are over, but I won't be buying "Not Your Daughter's Jeans" anytime soon either.
How has your style evolved over time?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
So No One's Left Hanging...
Soren's evaluation at Stanford went really well. We were relieved that he is not on the autism spectrum although he does have a variety of developmental delays. He will continue to receive speech and occupational therapy twice a week through our school district's Early Start program. He is enjoying his therapy and has already made significant progress so we are hopeful that he will soon be developmentally on par. Per the Stanford team's request, Soren will have a thorough audiological exam in the next couple of weeks. He appears to be hearing just fine but they suggested that he be tested just to make sure his hearing is what it should be. We'll take Soren back to Stanford for a follow up in October and re-assess him, as autism symptoms oftentimes crop up between 18 and 24 months. But for now, we are thrilled and hopeful that he'll catch up with his peers soon!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Becoming A Sister Again
This is such a crazy story with God's fingerprints all over it and I really don't even know where to begin, so I guess I'll back up to the beginning. May 19, 1972, to be exact.
Well, now that I truly think about it, the story begins even farther back than the night of my birth. For Vicky, my birth mom, it begins nine months prior to that. As for my parents? Their longing for a child began as the ink on their marriage certificate dried in the fall of 1969.
Mom and Dad knew that they wanted a family from the start. My Mom is the oldest of six kids and assumed she'd have a large family herself, when the time came. If I'm remembering correctly, at one point she told me she wanted to have ten kids. Let's just say that I am beyond relieved to not have nine younger siblings.
My parents were not conceiving as quickly as they would have liked. Apparently, my mom's doctor (a GP, not an OB/GYN in the Los Angeles area--where my parents were living at the time) was also their friend and knew of their heartache and desire for a baby. Thinking that having a biological child was possibly not in the picture for them, my parents began the process to adopt an older child through the foster system...right around the time my 19 year old birth mother found herself pregnant. Mom and Dad told their friend, Dr. Anderson, of their plans to adopt a waiting older child. He had a check in his heart about pursuing this type of adoption, and he told them so.
An unmarried college student, Vicky didn't feel that she was ready to parent a child so she let her concerns be known to her doctor. Obviously, I don't know exactly what was said in Dr. Anderson's office, yet I do know that he clearly cared about Vicky and her unborn child.
On the night I was born Mom was listening to a Dodger game that was in extra innings on her bedside radio. Dad was working the night shift at the aerospace company he would ultimately be employed at for 26 years. When the phone rang later than usual, Mom must have assumed that it could only be a bearer of bad news on the other end. Instead, it was Dr. Anderson, ready to tell my parents of a wonderful gift they would soon receive.
"I'm about to deliver a baby tonight and she needs a home. Do you want her?" he asked. My Mom replied with a resounding "Yes!" and then called my Dad to tell him the most unexpected news they'd ever heard.
These days doctors have no input in adoptions, but back then I guess they did. Or, if they didn't, God simply used Dr. Anderson as part of his plan to create the Speelman family. My parents had a whopping two days to gather baby gear and prepare to become parents. Gratefully, both of my Mom's sisters had recently had babies so they were able to gather hand-me-downs from them. When my parents came to get me at the hospital they were unable to see Vicky, but my Mom said she glimpsed her from the hallway outside her room. Overwhelming gratitude filled Mom's heart for this selfless woman who was willing to give her--a woman she never knew--a huge part of her life, her baby. The adoption was a closed case and became official a few months later.
As many adoption and infertility stories go, my parents conceived my brother nine months after I was born. Once Kevin arrived in November of 1973 the plan to parent ten kids went out the window.
I never didn't know that I was adopted. For as long as I can remember I've always been aware that another woman who I didn't call "Mom" had carried me inside her womb and chose to give me life. I've always known her name and a bit of her background, as it was reflected on my original pre-adoption birth certificate that my parents still have in safe keeping.
Growing up I never had any "longing" to find my birth mother, as many adopted children do. I, like my parents, have always felt great respect and gratitude for Vicky, but I never experienced any aching or emptiness that caused me to feel that I needed to find her. My parents were (and still are) wonderful parents. They raised me well and in a loving, stable home. What more could I need?
As I approached adulthood and began to more fully appreciate the depth of Vicky's sacrifice, I found myself thinking of her more often...usually right around my birthday. One specific instance is very vivid in my mind. Right around the time of my 30th birthday in 2002 I had an overwhelming burden to pray for her that lasted for about two months. Clearly, God desired extra prayers on Vicky's behalf and I was happy to offer them. Once that call to prayer was lifted I didn't think of her as often, or longingly wonder how her life had transpired.
Fast forward to October 31, 2010. I received a message on Facebook from a woman who claimed to be my biological half-sister. Since it was Halloween, my first reaction was that someone was playing a trick on me...and that there was no "treat" in sight. I read and re-read the message and realized a few things: 1) This person knew way too much about my birth mother, and 2) way too much about me for the message to be a joke. Todd read it, we discussed it, and then I poked around her profile a bit and found pictures and background information that just about knocked me off my chair. I replied to the message and we began a Facebook friendship that quickly evolved into a real friendship, as it was clear that Elaina and I were kindred spirits.
My first and most pressing questions for Elaina were "How did you find me?" and "How long have you known about me?" As it turns out, Vicky had told her about me when she was a teenager during their "birds and bees" conversation. And thanks to this crazy ol' world wide web, Vicky, with the help of Elaina's aunt, found me through my blog! Cyberspace is a small place!
Through Elaina I learned that Vicky went on to live a happy, productive life after I was born. From working as a counselor at a Crisis Pregnancy Center I have seen firsthand how teenage pregnancy can "derail" a person's life, and I was so thrilled to hear that Vicky's life was good and full. Although it wasn't God's plan that Vicky and I live our lives together as mother and daughter, He did see fit that we lived much of our lives less than two miles away from each other in the same city in Orange County.
"But didn't this all take place in Los Angeles?" you might ask. Yes and no. When I was 11 years old my family moved from the LA area to Mission Viejo due to a job re-location for my Dad. After Vicky got married a few years after I was born she and her husband also moved to Mission Viejo. They established their family there...on a quiet street about a mile from the street that I grew up on. The street that Vicky's family lived on was directly above the church I attended in childhood and throughout college. Their house literally had a view of the church that I spent countless hours at every single week. I think it's utterly amazing that my birth mother very likely saw me driving too fast in the church parking lot or pushing a preschooler in the swing on the playground. I can only imagine that we passed each other in the mall and sat at nearby booths in a restaurant. Mission Viejo is a relatively sleepy suburb and our "circles" certainly intertwined without us knowing it.
So as Elaina and I got to know each other better through email and Facebook it was only fitting that we should meet. Knowing that Todd and the boys and I would be coming down to visit my parents and have fun at Disneyland, the timing worked perfectly that we should meet that weekend.
When I walked into Mimi's Cafe in Laguna Niguel last Saturday morning and saw my sister for the first time it was as if I had always known, and loved, her. Our conversation was so natural and meaningful. We have much more in common than our genes and I am so anxious to explore this new realm of sisterhood further.
Vicky and her husband no longer live in Mission Viejo. A few years ago they moved out to the desert...a place that Todd and the boys and I frequently escape to for R and R. Maybe one of the "subliminal" reasons I enjoy the desert so much is because I have family there. Family that I hope to someday meet, thank and embrace.
Well, now that I truly think about it, the story begins even farther back than the night of my birth. For Vicky, my birth mom, it begins nine months prior to that. As for my parents? Their longing for a child began as the ink on their marriage certificate dried in the fall of 1969.
Mom and Dad knew that they wanted a family from the start. My Mom is the oldest of six kids and assumed she'd have a large family herself, when the time came. If I'm remembering correctly, at one point she told me she wanted to have ten kids. Let's just say that I am beyond relieved to not have nine younger siblings.
My parents were not conceiving as quickly as they would have liked. Apparently, my mom's doctor (a GP, not an OB/GYN in the Los Angeles area--where my parents were living at the time) was also their friend and knew of their heartache and desire for a baby. Thinking that having a biological child was possibly not in the picture for them, my parents began the process to adopt an older child through the foster system...right around the time my 19 year old birth mother found herself pregnant. Mom and Dad told their friend, Dr. Anderson, of their plans to adopt a waiting older child. He had a check in his heart about pursuing this type of adoption, and he told them so.
An unmarried college student, Vicky didn't feel that she was ready to parent a child so she let her concerns be known to her doctor. Obviously, I don't know exactly what was said in Dr. Anderson's office, yet I do know that he clearly cared about Vicky and her unborn child.
On the night I was born Mom was listening to a Dodger game that was in extra innings on her bedside radio. Dad was working the night shift at the aerospace company he would ultimately be employed at for 26 years. When the phone rang later than usual, Mom must have assumed that it could only be a bearer of bad news on the other end. Instead, it was Dr. Anderson, ready to tell my parents of a wonderful gift they would soon receive.
"I'm about to deliver a baby tonight and she needs a home. Do you want her?" he asked. My Mom replied with a resounding "Yes!" and then called my Dad to tell him the most unexpected news they'd ever heard.
These days doctors have no input in adoptions, but back then I guess they did. Or, if they didn't, God simply used Dr. Anderson as part of his plan to create the Speelman family. My parents had a whopping two days to gather baby gear and prepare to become parents. Gratefully, both of my Mom's sisters had recently had babies so they were able to gather hand-me-downs from them. When my parents came to get me at the hospital they were unable to see Vicky, but my Mom said she glimpsed her from the hallway outside her room. Overwhelming gratitude filled Mom's heart for this selfless woman who was willing to give her--a woman she never knew--a huge part of her life, her baby. The adoption was a closed case and became official a few months later.
As many adoption and infertility stories go, my parents conceived my brother nine months after I was born. Once Kevin arrived in November of 1973 the plan to parent ten kids went out the window.
I never didn't know that I was adopted. For as long as I can remember I've always been aware that another woman who I didn't call "Mom" had carried me inside her womb and chose to give me life. I've always known her name and a bit of her background, as it was reflected on my original pre-adoption birth certificate that my parents still have in safe keeping.
Growing up I never had any "longing" to find my birth mother, as many adopted children do. I, like my parents, have always felt great respect and gratitude for Vicky, but I never experienced any aching or emptiness that caused me to feel that I needed to find her. My parents were (and still are) wonderful parents. They raised me well and in a loving, stable home. What more could I need?
As I approached adulthood and began to more fully appreciate the depth of Vicky's sacrifice, I found myself thinking of her more often...usually right around my birthday. One specific instance is very vivid in my mind. Right around the time of my 30th birthday in 2002 I had an overwhelming burden to pray for her that lasted for about two months. Clearly, God desired extra prayers on Vicky's behalf and I was happy to offer them. Once that call to prayer was lifted I didn't think of her as often, or longingly wonder how her life had transpired.
Fast forward to October 31, 2010. I received a message on Facebook from a woman who claimed to be my biological half-sister. Since it was Halloween, my first reaction was that someone was playing a trick on me...and that there was no "treat" in sight. I read and re-read the message and realized a few things: 1) This person knew way too much about my birth mother, and 2) way too much about me for the message to be a joke. Todd read it, we discussed it, and then I poked around her profile a bit and found pictures and background information that just about knocked me off my chair. I replied to the message and we began a Facebook friendship that quickly evolved into a real friendship, as it was clear that Elaina and I were kindred spirits.
My first and most pressing questions for Elaina were "How did you find me?" and "How long have you known about me?" As it turns out, Vicky had told her about me when she was a teenager during their "birds and bees" conversation. And thanks to this crazy ol' world wide web, Vicky, with the help of Elaina's aunt, found me through my blog! Cyberspace is a small place!
Through Elaina I learned that Vicky went on to live a happy, productive life after I was born. From working as a counselor at a Crisis Pregnancy Center I have seen firsthand how teenage pregnancy can "derail" a person's life, and I was so thrilled to hear that Vicky's life was good and full. Although it wasn't God's plan that Vicky and I live our lives together as mother and daughter, He did see fit that we lived much of our lives less than two miles away from each other in the same city in Orange County.
"But didn't this all take place in Los Angeles?" you might ask. Yes and no. When I was 11 years old my family moved from the LA area to Mission Viejo due to a job re-location for my Dad. After Vicky got married a few years after I was born she and her husband also moved to Mission Viejo. They established their family there...on a quiet street about a mile from the street that I grew up on. The street that Vicky's family lived on was directly above the church I attended in childhood and throughout college. Their house literally had a view of the church that I spent countless hours at every single week. I think it's utterly amazing that my birth mother very likely saw me driving too fast in the church parking lot or pushing a preschooler in the swing on the playground. I can only imagine that we passed each other in the mall and sat at nearby booths in a restaurant. Mission Viejo is a relatively sleepy suburb and our "circles" certainly intertwined without us knowing it.
So as Elaina and I got to know each other better through email and Facebook it was only fitting that we should meet. Knowing that Todd and the boys and I would be coming down to visit my parents and have fun at Disneyland, the timing worked perfectly that we should meet that weekend.
When I walked into Mimi's Cafe in Laguna Niguel last Saturday morning and saw my sister for the first time it was as if I had always known, and loved, her. Our conversation was so natural and meaningful. We have much more in common than our genes and I am so anxious to explore this new realm of sisterhood further.
Vicky and her husband no longer live in Mission Viejo. A few years ago they moved out to the desert...a place that Todd and the boys and I frequently escape to for R and R. Maybe one of the "subliminal" reasons I enjoy the desert so much is because I have family there. Family that I hope to someday meet, thank and embrace.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Spring Getaway
We took a quick trip down to SoCal last week and had a great time. The boys had a blast at Disneyland and California Adventure and Nolan was a great "tour guide" for Soren, as it was Soren's first time! Soren had very little visible emotion the entire time because he was just in awe of everything. He loved the rides, the characters, the yummy treats, and even did well standing in line! This was Nolan's first Disney trip where he walked the entire time. We got rid of our double stroller a few months back since he's now 45 pounds and no longer fit in it very well. Nolan never complained or asked to be carried until we had been there for over nine hours. We were so proud of our little trooper!
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| Playing peek-a-boo with Mickey was a big hit! |
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| Nolan really wanted to hear all of Buzz's noises when pressing the buttons! |
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| Shooting stuff on the Buzz Lightyear ride |
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| Playing the harp in Mickey's house |
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| Cutest Mouseketeer ever! |
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| I love that Nolan wears his ears (and almost every other hat he owns--which are many!) cock-eyed! |
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| Smiling eyes on the rocket ride! |
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| End of the day retail therapy...aliens and a Woody hat made their way home with us! |
Besides all the Disney goodness, we had fun at my parent's house and visiting other friends and family members. As a matter I fact, I was able to meet the sister I never knew I had (until last fall) for the very first time! And that's a story you won't want to miss. I'll write more SOON! Promise!
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