but I was still unprepared.
You can read about China and even get a freakin' PhD in Chinese Culture but until you've actually BEEN to China all the knowledge of China you've acquired over your years of study will pale in comparison to actually visiting the land and being a part of that culture.
I have read and heard about autistic kids being singled out by other kids...and even adults...but never personally experienced it until today.
My trip to China sucked.
My boys like to play with the neighborhood kids in our cul-de-sac. We don't get out to play with the neighborhood kids every day, but today the weather was nice and we had the time. There are a handful of kids we play with and they are all sweet and well mannered...but they are still kids. While the kids were playing hide and seek one of the neighbor girls (a six year old first grader) came up to me and politely asked "Um, is Nolan Special Needs?" I replied that yes, he is. I was hoping that would be the end of it, but she went on to say "Oh, that's why he doesn't know how to do anything."
And I thought my heart would split into a million pieces right there in the middle of the street. She was NOT being mean-spirited AT ALL, she was just stating what she observed.
I know that other kids see that he's different, but I've never had anyone tell me what they see in him. It hurt to know that she saw him as not just different, but flawed. Yes, he does have some deficiencies, but there is nothing inherently wrong with my child. Every person, special needs or not, has uniquenesses and I so desperately wish that people saw uniquenesses as opposed to flaws. We are all created in God's image...and there are so many facets to His image that it only makes sense that individual people look different, inside and out. We each reflect a different part of God in our own special way.
As much as my neighbor's words crushed me to the core her actions lifted my spirit. After I answered her question she continued to play with Nolan as if nothing had happened. For her it probably didn't. For me, my world was rocked.
No doubt this encounter was the first of many, but I really don't want any more stamps in my passport.
3 comments:
I just want to cry for you. Whenever I struggled with Luke being different than his typical peers (especially when he was younger), I'd remind myself that He was perfectly content with how God made him. The world has a lot to learn from these very special kids.
I am so sorry this happened to you! It's crushing when other children realize your child is "different". But you are SO right when you said that God created us ALL different, and HE doesn't make mistakes!
Thank you so much for your touching comment on my blog! It really means a lot to us!
{{{{HUGS}}}}
Robin (aka: Alabama Slacker Mama)
Oh Charla I'm SO sorry. My heart hurt reading this.
I don't have many conversations with kids about my daughters' Down syndrome yet, I think because we homeschool and because we go to a parish that is small enough where all the other kids know us, and so far things have gone fine.
But I do know the day will come, and that it will be horrible. Part of me even hates the term "special needs", in the sense that my goodness, who of us DOESN'T have special needs?
Anyway, your sweet family is so precious and I loved reading your words.
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