Jumpstart My Heart

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding yet downright terrifying things I have ever set forth upon. In the past couple of months my children's lives have flashed before my eyes not once, not twice, but three times! If I think about what could have been my blood courses through my veins at warp speed and I start spinning into panic. When I think about what was I am more sure than ever that there is an ever-present huge God who loves us more than we can fathom and takes care of us in His perfect way.

Unfortunately, Nolan inherited the klutz gene from me. I have two left feet, poor balance and even worse hand-eye coordination. He is aware that the stairs can trip him up and is quite careful most of the time. Except for that day. The day I watched my little boy fall head over heels down our entire flight of thirteen stairs, landing in a crumpled heap at the bottom. I don't know what was worse, seeing him immobile for just a split second on the landing or the fear in his eyes and the guttural howl that came from his throat as he tumbled...and not being able to do a darn thing from my vantage point. I thought for sure he had broken his neck, or his arm at best. Fortunately, God was merciful and Nolan came away from the ordeal without a scratch or bruise.

A few short weeks later Nolan was completely unaware that his life was hanging in the balance, but I have had nightmares frequently ever since. During the week of parent-teacher conferences school let out early for the older kids, but Nolan's class and the other special ed classes dismissed at their regular time. Because there was very little traffic and very few kids at dismissal time a teenager, busy texting on her phone and driving 40 miles an hour in a normally busy school zone, zoomed around the corner and swerved toward the boys and I as we were stepping off the sidewalk to cross the street. Nolan was holding the stroller as he always does, but he was one step ahead of me...and less than a foot away from the speeding car. If I hadn't reigned him in he would have been hit. Oh yeah...the teenager was none the wiser and I was shaking so badly that I didn't have the wits about me to take down her license plate.

And then last night baby Soren almost choked to death on a sticker he found on the floor. I had to fish it out of his throat and wait what seemed like an eternity for him to start breathing in a regular pattern again. As he was straining to breathe I prayed that he'd vomit up whatever was causing the obstruction. He did, with gusto, and I was never so happy to be covered in puke.

Thank You, Lord, for protecting these children. You are the only defibrillator I want and need.