Autism And Parenthood

One of my favorite TV shows is Parenthood.  NBC really hit a home run with this show, I would argue.  One of the storylines is about a family with a nine year old boy with Asperger's syndrome--a form of high functioning autism.  Max, the boy with Asperger's, doesn't know he has Asperger's or that Asperger's is a form of autism.  On next week's episode (Tuesday night, 10 pm) he will learn that he is autistic, and I'm so curious how this sensitive issue will be portrayed.

In Max's mind he's just a normal kid with normal interests.  In his world it's normal to have a behavior coach help you throughout the day.  It's normal to have specific likes and dislikes and a rigid, predictable schedule.  He's unaware that other kids (primarily his cousins) have friends and attend school in a typical classroom.  Granted, my Nolan is only four, but I wonder if he knows that he is different from other children his age.  He doesn't know what autism is, nor do I expect him to, but I wonder if he ever senses the differences between him and neurotypical kids.  As much as I want him to be around normal kids, and fit in, and have friends who are not on the spectrum, it is truly painful for me to watch him around other children who are not autistic.  When he's with his friends from school it is so clear to me that he is high functioning and can "make it" in the world.  He stands out among them and I am so proud of him.  But when he's around neurotypical kids the differences glare at me and I wonder if he is headed for a life of loneliness.

Nolan is a wonderful, loving, perfectly formed little boy...and I just want other kids to know it!  I want Nolan to be able to make lifelong friends.  I want him to desire relationships.  I want him to know how to appropriately interact with people.  He is only four years old and has made huge progress in the last year, but I just wonder what his life will look like in five, ten, twenty years.  Regardless of what Nolan's life looks like right now or what it will be in the future I need to surrender my dreams to the Lord and trust that His plan is perfect for Nolan.  It's a constant relinquishing of my will to His, and to be blunt, I really suck at it.

Brokenhearted X 2

My sweet Nolan.  I love this boy so much.  I love how he is growing and changing daily.  He is becoming more aware of his emotions and I witnessed his tender, fragile heart this morning.

Yesterday was one of his friends last day at school.  E's family is moving to Texas tomorrow.  This morning Nolan sat at the breakfast table with big crocodile tears streaming down his face.  "E is gone.  E goes to Texas.  E comes back on Sunday?"  It then progressed to "D in Virginia.  B is in Kindergarten.  No more N on bus."  He proceeded to name and lament each one of the children who have moved out of his class over the course of the last few months.  He was so brokenhearted and missing his friends.  It was all I could do to not cry right along with him.

I scooped him up and hugged him tight.  When we prayed this morning before he got on the bus I made sure to include his friends he misses so much.  I truly hope he has a happy day with the friends he still has in his everyday life.

It All Began With A Light Fixture... (AKA: The Snowball Effect)

A couple of weeks ago, on a very ordinary Saturday morning, our little family of four set out on a "quick" run to Home Depot.  Our mission was to pick up two new dome lights for the boys rooms.  They both have cute table lamps, but cute doesn't necessarily emit sufficient light...and I was tired of feeling like I entered the shadows whenever I set foot in their rooms.  On the way there, Todd and I agreed that our bedroom could use more light as well, so we decided to look at lighting options for our room, too.  In five minutes flat we had chosen fixtures for the boys rooms, and saw a few options we liked for our room.  But just to be sure we were "covering our bases" we decided to head a few minutes farther down the road to Lowe's to check out their lighting department.  Lowe's had a completely different array of choices and, all of a sudden, our decision loomed much MUCH larger!  Fortuitously, we then remembered that there was a Lamps Plus closer to home and we certainly wouldn't be savvy shoppers unless we checked out their inventory, too!  We loaded the boys back up in the van and headed to the overkill that is Lamps Plus.  Too.  Many.  Choices.

Did we want a simple dome light?  A ceiling fan with lights?  A pendant?  And then Todd asked me the question I never thought I'd hear from his mouth..."What do you think about a chandelier?"  A chandelier?  Now you're speaking my language!  He was surprised that I was surprised by his suggestion of considering a chandelier!  Truthfully, I shouldn't have been surprised because we watch enough Divine Design With Candace Olson to know that we both appreciate the look of a chandelier...in the right space.  But could our bedroom be "the right space?"  Just maybe...

When my eyes fell upon the chandelier we ended up purchasing, I knew we had come across "the one."  It was hip, a little bit edgy, but girly and glam enough to make my heart swoon.  Todd spends lots of time in high-end posh hotels and comes home to tell me about them.  This piece looked like it would be at home in a Four Seasons or up at The Nines.  We decided it would make its home in our bedroom as well.

So we got the beauty home and installed in a few hours time and ooh-ed and ahh-ed over it, happy.  But then the rest of our bedroom looked a little "shabby," but not in a shabby-chic way.  I rummaged through our linen closet and pulled out some curtains we had hung in our last place.  We hung them up in our bedroom and liked what we saw.  But our bedroom doesn't have just one window, it has three, and the other two windows looked neglected.  Off to Bed Bath and Beyond we went, hoping to find the exact same curtains that we had just hung.  We did find those silk curtains, but we didn't remember the steeper-than-we-wanted-to-pay price, so we opted for a sheer version instead.  We got home, hung the new sheers on glitzy new hardware, and then realized that the bedside lamps we had didn't complement the ethereal / romantic / glam look we were creating.

A trip to Home Depot later, we came home with two new lamps.  I knew I didn't like the shades from the get-go, but the lamps were on clearance so we snatched them up and opted to replace the shades with something else.  Lamps Plus to the rescue!  Now I was grateful for the too. many. choices.

As for the rest of our room?  We bought our bedroom suite about four years ago and I love it now just as much as the day we bought it.  (Todd says that's a good thing because we are both going to die in that bed!  Quality furniture is not cheap, people!  And then Thomasville had the audacity to discontinue the line despite the fact we hadn't purchased the armoire yet!  We were going to...when it went on massive sale!  And now it won't ever be on sale because it no longer exists!  Humph!  Someday I'll need to look for it on ebay.  *Sigh!*)  Anywho, I had the accessories here and there around the house, so with a little re-purposing and re-arranging we now have a bedroom we both adore.  Without further ado, our new bedroom...

The glitz and glam that started it all!

We did not paint.  The wall colors were chosen by the owner...but we sort of like them!

The feathers are cranberry colored, like the wall.  We had to bring in that color somehow!

So what do you think?

A Little Of This, A Little Of That

I've been a slacker blogger this month, so I will update quickly and succinctly for your reading benefit:

• Soren started therapy a couple of weeks ago and is doing well.  He's excited to go and happy when he's there.  He doesn't like to be contained in a chair for circle time or snack, but luckily those two components are short.  I've also been working with him at home. I wish I could be more intensive with him but life goes on around us and there's only so much I can do.  We're all trying, though.
• Right before Christmas Todd was diagnosed with diabetes so our lifestyle has changed dramatically in the past month.  We are both exercising a minimum of 5 times a week, eating much healthier than we ever were, and we are both losing weight.  We have been in dire need of a change for awhile.  Diabetes is the kick in the pants we needed, and Todd and I agree that this disease is really a blessing in disguise.
• Nolan is in the process of being re-assessed at school.  I'm thrilled that he's making progress but I'm very hesitant to move him to a less restrictive program because he's doing so well where he's at.  He also has gained a lot of vocabulary in the past few months, but much of it is used in an improper context.  This alone makes me think he should stay put...but I suppose there's nothing to discuss with the team until the assessment is complete.
• Both the boys have been sick this last week.  Nolan's back at school although he's still coughing, and Soren is a snotty coughing mess.  When will cold season be over?
• We were supposed to go to Tahoe this weekend but Todd's meetings are on hold so we're staying home. I'm really bummed we aren't going because Nolan has been talking about playing in the snow forever, but since the boys are not quite well I will consider this yet another blessing in disguise.

Later, Gators.

IEPs, IFSPs And Then Some

For some reason the formatting of this post is really screwed up and it won't publish paragraph breaks.  To make it easier to read, I'm changing the color where a new paragraph should begin.  Sorry it's not very easy on the eyes.

Right before Christmas vacation Todd and I attended Nolan's annual IEP meeting.  For those of you not schooled in special ed lingo, an IEP meeting is an annual meeting of parents and a broad team of special educators to 1) discuss goals a student has met (or not met) in the last year, and 2) discuss goals for the next year.  Many parents dread this annual meeting but Todd and I had no cause for apprehension because we knew that Nolan was indeed meeting his goals and had made amazing progress over the course of the last year.  Our meeting with Nolan's teachers and therapists was fantastic and we learned that he had met all of his goals except for two (and those were at a 70%.)  His language and social skills have improved wonderfully, as well as many of his pre-academic skills.  The areas where he fell short were motor related, which was no surprise considering that he's basically a klutzy kid (which is due to the fact that he has my genes.)  Nolan has been doing so well, in fact, that the team asked for permission to re-assess him this month and possibly change his plan for services.  In other words, if he passes the assessments, he would "graduate" to a less intensive program!  We are so proud of him and look forward to hearing the results of the assessment in the next few weeks.  And then there's little Soren...  Much like Nolan was as a toddler, Soren is one of the sweetest, most affectionate, truly happy babies ever.  His cuteness and precious joyful spirit can make you not notice that something is amiss.  At his year check-up I mentioned to the pediatrician that he was not waving, pointing, clapping or speaking any intelligible words.  Neither of us were too concerned because babies develop at different rates and he wasn't showing any huge lapses.  But then, at his 15 month appointment, we agreed that he should be evaluated for delays because nothing had really changed in three months.  She recommended we schedule an assessment with the team of developmental psychologists at nearby Stanford University.  I got on the phone that afternoon and started the intake process.  Considering that Stanford has one of the most prestigious Children's Hospitals in the world I wasn't suprised to hear that our appointment wouldn't be until March 1.  In the meantime I didn't think it was wise to wait, so I contacted our school district's Infant and Toddler Program.  They got us in for an assessment almost immediately and today we had Soren's IFSP meeting to go over the results of the assessment and to make a plan to facilitate his progress.  An IFSP is basically the same type of plan as an IEP except it is family oriented.  We were not surprised that Soren's expressive and receptive language skills lie between a 6 month and 12 month level and that his motor development varies between 12 and 15 months.  With such significant delays, he will begin a "parent and me" therapy based class next week just for children his age and with similar delays.  Soren and I will go to "school" for two 90 minute sessions per week that include ST, OT and PT.  When we visited the classroom today after our IFSP meeting he immediately lit up when he saw all the fun things to play with.  Hopefully this will be the jumpstart he needs to make progress!  Todd and I are so grateful for the amazing school district we are a part of and the first-rate assistance our boys are receiving.  It is abundantly clear to me that God moved us up here to the Bay Area so our kids would get exactly this help.  We have been so very happy with our district's preschool special ed programs and are so blessed to be here for such a time as this.  Needless to say, 2011 has started off on a really good foot for our kiddoes.  Lots of change is in store for them, but it's all so positive!  As for Todd and me?  Major changes have smacked us in the face recently, too.  But that's a whole other post for another time...

Christmas Merriment

This Christmas season has been so much fun for my little family.  I won't soon forget...

• Soren squealing with delight as he waved his little chubby hands and wiggled his sweet baby feet at the sight of Christmas lights.  Pure, innocent childlike perfection.
• Nolan narrating the Christmas story while playing with the Little People Nativity set.  Hearing "Don't be scared, Mary!" and "There's no room at the hotel.  Go to the barn."  Sometimes hearing "Baby Jeduz" instead of "Baby Dweezus."  Maybe by next Christmas he'll be able to pronounce Jesus' name correctly.  (Should I ask his {public school} speech therapist to work on it?  Ha!)
• Baking lots and lots and lots of cookies...and attending my first Christmas cookie swap!
• Repeatedly turning on the musical snow globe and shaking it while the boys smile with glee.  Nolan's need to inspect every snow globe he sees.  Especially the shelves full of them at Target.
• Tearing off a link of our Christmas countdown chain every morning at breakfast.  Praying together for the person who's name was written on the inside of the link.
• Nolan hoping the rain would turn to snow.  His excitement that "Daddy take you to the snow in January!"
• Shopping for needy families.  Knowing that their Christmas will be blessed because people cared for them.
• "Dressing" our gel-cling snowman on the kitchen window.
• Spoiling Todd with little gifts for the Twelve Days Of Christmas.
• Anticipating my parents arrival...and thoroughly enjoying the week they were here.
• Sipping peppermint mochas and caramel brulee lattes every chance I could get.

My favorite house in San Ramon

It was most certainly a Toy Story Christmas for the Liedahl boys!

Enjoying "Zoo Lights" with my parents

This picture makes my heart happy!

Kinda Sorta Homemade-ish Candy

I made some festive candy this afternoon to include in our neighbor's Christmas goodie bags.  It was so easy to make and so yummy.  Nolan called these treats "cookie candies" and I don't really have a better name for them, so call them what you will.  Looking for easy homemade holiday treats to share with friends?  Look no further...

You need:
One bag of pretzels that are "grid" style
A bag of rollos
Pecan halves

Lay out the pretzels on a cookie sheet.  Top each pretzel with a rollo candy.  Bake in a 325 degree oven for 10 minutes.  Remove from oven and squish a pecan half on the top.  Cool on a wire rack and enjoy!

Sorry, Santa!

From terror...

to tears!

 In years past Nolan's been our screamer.
I'll be generous and call this an "improvement."

Merry Christmas anyhow!

I Need A Silent Night

I've never been an Amy Grant fan, despite the fact that I grew up right along with her.  Nearly all my other girlfriends my age who grew up listening to Christian music are still, to this day, obsessed with her.  Maybe I missed out on something, but I guess I'll never know. I do know that this song is so needed in our culture around Christmastime.  And to Amy I am indebted.

I’ve made the same mistake before
Too many malls, too many stores
December traffic, Christmas rush
Breaks me till I push and shove

Children are crying while mothers are trying
To photograph Santa and sleigh
The shopping and buying and standing forever in line
What can I say?

I need a silent night, a Holy night to hear an angel voice
Through the chaos and the noise I need a midnight clear
A little peace right here to end this crazy day with a silent night

December comes then disappears
Faster and faster every year
Did my own mother keep this pace
Or was the world a different place?

Where people stayed home wishing for snow
Watching three channels on their TV
Look at us now rushing around trying to buy Christmas peace

What was it like back there in Bethlehem?
With peace on earth good will toward men?

I need a silent night, a Holy night to hear an angel voice
Through the chaos and the noise I need a midnight clear
A little peace right here to end this crazy day with a silent night

Go to youtube and watch and listen.  I tried to insert the video here (over and over again, for like a half hour) but I'm not that techy.  Sorry.

Remember This...

post about my running attempts?  I haven't addressed the topic since then because there's really been nothing to say.  I've failed...but not for lack of trying.  I tried and I actually really enjoyed it!  It felt good pushing myself and developing endurance.  But I haven't run at all since running was the cause of my barely being able to walk.

My running stint lased for all of about 2.5 weeks before I developed pain in my lower legs that was practically debilitating.  I had shooting pain that went from the inside of my knees all the way down into my feet.  And not just when I ran.  All.  Day.  Long.  For days.  And going up and down stairs?  I may have scooted up and down on my butt a time or two.  Yeah, it hurt.  A lot.  And then when it finally abated I was too scared to try running again for fear that I'd just end up in the same predicament.  I mentioned this to a couple of runner friends and they said that the culprit is most likely my shoes.  It was suggested that I go to have my footfall analyzed at a running specialty store, but I have yet to do so.  Mainly because I'm cheap and don't want to spend $100+ on shoes that may or may not do the trick.  Instead of becoming a lean mean running machine I feel like I'm becoming a slightly less grotesque female version of Jabba the Hut.

Gone are the days of the blessing of a hummingbird's metabolism.  I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and in whatever quantity suited me and not gain an ounce until my late 20's.  I remember thinking (and truly believing!) that I would never weigh 120 pounds unless I was pregnant.  Sounds totally realistic, right?  On my wedding day I weighed 126 pounds, and although 126 is more than 120 I was blissfully happy to be marrying Todd and was pretty happy with my body.  After all, I was 32 years old and in relatively good shape.

Enter pregnancy x 2.  Enter my late 30's.  Enter being a stay at home mom who is within mere feet of the pantry most of the day.  It's a recipe for disaster that shows on my face, thighs, arms, and stomach.  Oh, my stomach!  How can the food that tastes so good going down end up looking so bad on the bod afterward?  It's just vicious.

So what I need to do is step away from the pantry and step on the elliptical machine (that we got for Christmas last year that collects dust) and MOVE my big old self.  I am totally fine with the fact that I will never weigh 120 pounds again or wear size 2 clothes.  I have borne children and I'm stinkin' 38 years old (and I'm not Heidi Klum) so it shows.  Wider hips, I've come to believe, are a mother's badge of honor.  The muffin top and stretch marks?  Not so honorable, but whatever...

And Santa, if you're reading this, some new running shoes might be nice.