Hi, My Name Is Sicky McSickerson

It's official.  I'm old.  As if turning 39 didn't remind me of how old I am the fact that I have gall stones certainly does.  Until recently I thought that gall stones were only present in old people...like nursing home old people...but apparently that's not the case.  Many women who have birthed babies suffer from gall stones and gall bladder attacks.  I'm learning that quite a few of my friends have been in the same boat recently.  Ugh!  Darn you, Eve!

I can't begin to adequately describe how painfully awful gallstones are.  Worse than labor, by far.  I've had four gall bladder attacks in the last two months and they have gotten increasingly worse.  The first one scared me to death because I thought I was having some sort of heart issue.  The chest pain was so severe I almost had Todd take me to the ER.  But the pain abated after about 15 minutes and left me dry heaving and feeling like I was hit by a truck.  The next morning I woke up and felt completely fine so I sort of blew it off as a "freak" episode of...who really knows what.   I googled my symptoms and self-diagnosed gall stones.  I tried cutting fat our of my diet and following a litany of other gall bladder diet rules, but about five days later it happened again...and was worse than the first time.  I was on the phone with my doctor first thing the next morning and she ordered an immediate ultrasound.  Gall stones, as I surmised.  Now what?

She told me that there's not a whole lot you can do for gall stones unless you opt to have your gall bladder removed.  I'm not one who is surgery happy so I just decided to live with it and eat better.  However, since I can't pinpoint my "trigger foods" I haven't been able to stop the attacks.  The worst one, by far, happened on my birthday.  Excruciating pain and at least 20 bouts of vomiting over the course of three hours?  What a lovely birthday celebration, huh?

After that attack I decided that I needed to see a gastroenterologist ASAP.  He agreed that I have gall stones, but wants me to have an endoscopy to see if there are other issues at play.  I haven't scheduled the procedure yet because I'm a little nervous about it, but friends who have had them before assure me that the procedure is no big deal.  I must admit that I was a little put off by the doctor, though, because he didn't give me any "what to do when you have an attack" strategies and I got the vibe from him that basically, I'm screwed.  Nothing will help so don't bother.  I'm wondering if it would be wise to maybe see another gastroenterologist for a second opinion before scheduling an endoscopy.  I don't know.  I think I'm playing the "if I ignore it it will go away" card right now...in hopes that it will.  Even though I know it won't.

Getting old is no fun!

You Say It's Your Birthday...

(cue music)
It's my birthday, too!

Yep, 39 big ones have passed.  Next year is THE big one.  Eeeks!  Walt Disney World...here we come!

Nolan and I made a cake last night that we'll eat tonight after dinner.  I don't know if I've ever made my own birthday cake before but he really wanted to make a birthday cake with me.  Cute thing!

We're not really celebrating today, which is totally fine.  Tomorrow night, however, Todd and I are going out to dinner by ourselves!  We never go out to dinner by ourselves unless my parents are in town and keep the boys.  Yes, I'm one of  "those moms" who has never hired a babysitter.  I really need to get over it.  My parents are the only babysitters my boys have had except for like two or three trusted girlfriends who have watched the boys for a hour or so while I go get my teeth cleaned or something equally as mundane.  But tomorrow night we don't have just one babysitter we have a classroom full!  Nolan's school is having a Parent's Night Out for the special ed kids and their siblings.  His teachers and therapists will be there and have planned a night of crafts, pizza, games and movies for the kids.  The boys don't know about it yet, but I know that Nolan will be so excited to go to school with Soren at night!  And Todd and I will enjoy a quiet, slow, un-interrupted Mexican feast.  And maybe a pina colada.  Yes, definitely a pina colada (virgin, as I don't like the taste of alcohol whatsoever.)  Happy Birthday, indeed!

It's been so nice having new readers comment on my blog lately.  Thanks for stopping by and getting to know me aa bit.  In honor of my 39th birthday I'm going to rattle off 39 random things about me that you "newbies" may not know.  A little show and tell, if you will.  If I could share virtual birthday cake with you I would, but this little list will have to do...

1. I love country music.
2. I am prone to belt out Reba McEntire tunes at the drop of a hat if I know I don't have an audience.
3. Leave their politics out of the equation...I love me some Dixie Chicks!
4. I can't go a day without reading.  Books are like oxygen to me.
5. I think everyone should read East of Eden by John Steinbeck at some point in their life.  Best book ever (with exception of the Bible.)
6. Most of the time I'd rather read than watch TV.  I do enjoy the Thursday night lineup on NBC, Glee, Parenthood, and The Big Bang Theory though...and try not to miss.
7. I sometimes want to have another baby.  Most of the time I don't.
8. I've become more of a morning person since having kids.  It's nice to see their smiling faces when I wake up.
9. The sound of a ticking clock drives me bonkers.
10. I wear ear plugs to bed every single night.
11. I still bite my nails.
12. Todd and I knew each other for four years before going on our first date.
13. We've been together for almost nine years now!
14. I love that Todd loves my parents and thinks he won at the "in-law game."
15. Since having kids my shoe size has gone from a 5.5 to a 7.  My feet feel gigantic to me now.
16. Nothing can make me melt into a puddle of mush more than a wink from my husband.
17. I didn't do my own laundry til I was 20.  I know.
18. I still don't iron...ever!  That is Todd's "domain."
19. I love my freckles.
20. I hope my boys freckle more as they get older.
21. If I could live inside Disneyland I would.
22. I am severely allergic to shellfish.
23. The thought of sushi makes me want to hurl.
24. I have a BA from UC Irvine and an MA from Denver Theological Seminary.
25. Degrees don't matter much to me, though.  All I've ever wanted to be was an educated housewife.
26. I really really miss my friends and church in San Diego and wish we could move back there and "start over where we left off."
27. I love Mexican food, especially tamales.
28. My favorite healthy snack is green apple slices with peanut butter.
29. My favorite not so healthy snack is dark chocolate.
30. I live and die by my list making skills.
31. Ephesians is my favorite book of the Bible.
32. I have very nice, unique handwriting.  People tell me it should be a font.
33. I can't wait til my boys are older and we can do family mission trips.
34. I hate sand and am terrified of the ocean.  Yet I love Hawaii.  Go figure.
35. My ideal place to retire is in a log cabin at Lake Tahoe.
36. Proof that I'm getting old: I posted this blog entry with 35 items.  My brain is going south or I'm in denial that I'm really 39 or both of the above.
37. I love my minvan and if that makes me uncool then so be it!
38. I would love to have a rabbit for a pet but I have an aversion for animals indoors so I don't think I'll ever have one.  Or a dog.  Or any other animal that could feasibly come into my house.
39. I don't text and I rarely answer my cell phone so if you need to get ahold of me the best way is through my home phone or email.  Or just call Todd instead.

I'm off to enjoy my birthday cake a la Nolan.  Yum!

Update On My Sweet Soren

Our little Soren-a-Rooney is growing up and changing right before our eyes.  He has made such wonderful progress since starting twice weekly therapy in January.  His motor skills, especially, have really taken off.  He can navigate stairs like a champ and he can even throw more accurately than his big brother!  He has mastered eating with utensils (whether or not he chooses to use them is another issue) and is slowly improving his drinking-from-a-cup skills.  Soren is a mountain goat of a climber and gets in to everything!  He is certainly our curious child and can't be left to his own devices for more than a few seconds.  You never know what sort of trouble you'll find him in!

Soren's verbal skills are coming along too, but much more slowly.  His receptive language has improved more than his expressive language and he is able to follow instructions much better than he could just a short while ago.  Some of the things he understands and responds to include:

• (let's go) outside
• snack time
• upstairs / downstairs
• bath
• eat
• nap / sleep / night time

Soren still has his own unique babbling language and "talks to himself" all day long, but here are some of the words he utters that we can understand:

• car
• up
• uh-oh
• daddy
• wow
• wunny (bunny)
• wa-wer (water or flower)
• cracker
• wa (want)
• gool (school)
• go
• ane (airplane)
• i-ing (flying)
• bubble
• ball
• day-doo (thank you)
• Woody (from Toy Story)
• I-ear (Lightyear, as in Buzz)

He is a happy baby with a bubbly personality and cuteness factor that is off the charts.  On the flipside he can throw a fit like nobody's business (I'm pretty sure he learned that from his brother!)  Soren is such a joy and we love that little stinker to the moon and back!

Oh Dang!

I had every intention of doing my first Ten on Ten post today--where you post 10 pictures of your regular day on the tenth of each month.  I thought about it on Sunday and then the busyness of life cluttered my brain and it just didn't happen.  So, instead of ten pictures of what life looked like today, here are ten things that made me happy.

1. Kids sleeping til 8:10 thus Mama lazing in bed til 8:15.
2. A good workout on the ol' elliptical.
3. Iced coffee.
4. Nolan climbing into my lap and asking if I'd sleep with him tonight.  Melt my heart!
5. Grilled cheese with tomato on rye.
6. Playing in the sandbox with Soren while just five feet away "our" mama bird sat in her nest watching us! 
7. Todd's graciousness when I told him I scraped the car against the garage door.  He's so easy going.
8. The fact that the scratches on the car were all easily buffed out!
9. Packing for our trip to my parent's house tomorrow.
10. Adding new tunes to the ipod for tomorrow's road trip.

Momcation 3.0

Todd is so good to me.  He encourages me to take time for myself whenever I need it.  Most often, "me time" looks like a couple of hours perusing the aisles at Barnes and Noble with a mocha in hand or getting a pedicure. Since the little people have come into the picture, Todd has made sure that I get extended time to myself from time to time...an overnight "Momcation."  This last weekend I was able to do just that.  Heaven, I tell you!

Saturday morning I got up at eight, as usual, with the family.  By eleven I was on the road (in my hubby's Infiniti, no minivan for this "off the clock" Mommy!) to my Momcation desination,Walnut Creek, which is less than 20 miles away.  Although just a short jaunt form home, Walnut Creek is a town I rarely spend time in...but love when I do.  It's full of lots of my favorite shops and restaurants, so what more could I possibly want?

What did I do during my getaway, you ask?  Truthfully, a whole lot of nothing...just the way I like it!

Pedicure--check! 
Coffee--check! 
Shopping--check! 
Window shopping and dreaming--check! 
Reading--check! 
Dining alfresco--check! 
Going to bed early--check! 
Waking up on my own time--check!

When I woke up in my quiet little hotel room on Sunday morning I was missing all my guys, so they drove up and met me for lunch and then we took an impromptu family drive to Napa.

Do you get "extended me time" and if so, how do you spend it?

For The Birds

Our yard has become a haven for mama birds and their babies.  I think it's the sweetest thing ever!  Literally, right outside my front door, a mama bird has made this nest on a plant stand that's currently not in use:

Each morning I ever so carefully open our front door to see if the eggs have hatched.  The mama dove is very skittish and as soon as she hears the door unlatch she flies about ten feet away from the nest and perches on the wall, staring me down to make sure I don't put her babies in harm's way.  I would so love to see her in her nest proudly protecting her eggs, but I don't think she trusts me that much...yet.

And then, in the tree just outside my garage, this little mama has made her home.

She's been there for a few weeks and I never knew that she had eggs in her nest until I saw this little guy this morning!  Mama must've been out grubbing for worms for her sweet hatchling.

Nestled close to this new little guy was another egg that has yet to hatch.  What a beautiful display of nature!

Celebrating Easter

The boys have been excited for Easter this year.  Well, who am I kidding?  Nolan has been excited for Easter, and Soren just likes yelling "Egg, egg, egg!" what seems like a million times a day.  As much as Todd and I have tried to communicate what Easter is really about, there's only so much that their little minds can comprehend.  Eggs and candy are much more tangible than Jesus' triumph over death so it makes sense that at 4.5 and 1.5 years old, Easter is synonymous with bunnies, eggs, and candy.  In time, I pray that my boys come to a deep understanding of what Easter is truly about and embrace Jesus as their Lord and Savior.  Until then, I will do my best to emphasize what is important, but let them have fun with the candy and eggs that signifies Easter to them.

Our first ever attempt to dye eggs was lots of fun!  I was a little bit nervous letting Soren in on the action because I could just picture broken eggs everywhere and dye all over my upholstery, but he did really well not touching them when I asked him not to touch!  It was a pleasant surprise!  As an additional precautionary measure I stripped them down to their skivvies so no clothes would be ruined in the process.

The boys were greeted with baskets full of treasures and new "buddies" (stuffed animals) when they woke up this morning.

We attempted to take a nice family picture before church.

Fail, fail, fail!  Is there ever anything new under the sun?

After church the boys hunted for eggs and enjoyed their chocolate bunnies.

But Easter is really about this...

what Jesus did for you and for me. 

I am saved.  Thank you, Jesus!

A Letter From A Child With Autism

April is Autism Awareness Month.  It seems that there are special reports about the precipitous rise of autism on the news, in newspapers, and just about everywhere you look.  Every 1 in 110 children in our country are affected by autism.  More startlingly, every 1 in 70 boys in the US falls somewhere on the autism spectrum.  The note below was written by a child with autism, although I don't know how old this child is or where he or she lives (blog.gummylump.com.)  I believe that someday my Nolan could feasibly write something similar.  Read below for a glimpse into the mysterious world of an autistic person.

Dear Family and Friends-

I understand that we will be visiting each other for some get-togethers this year. Sometimes these visits can be very hard for me, but here is some information that might help our visit to be more successful. As you probably know, I am challenged by a hidden disability called Autism, or what some people refer to as Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Autism/PDD is a neurodevelopmental disorder which makes it hard for me to understand the environment around me. I have barriers in my brain that you can’t see, but which make it difficult for me to adapt to my surroundings.

Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt or silly and out of control, but it is only because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. People with autism have different abilities. Some may not speak, some will write beautiful poetry. Others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or may have difficulty making friends. We are ALL different and need various degrees of support.

Sometimes when I am touched unexpectedly, it might feel painful and make me want to run away. I get easily frustrated, too. Being with lots of other people is like standing next to a moving freight train and trying to decide how and when to jump aboard. I feel frightened and confused a lot of the time. This is why I need to have things the same as much as possible. Once I learn how things happen, I can get by OK. But if something, anything, changes then I have to relearn the situation all over again! It is very hard.

When you try to talk to me, I often can’t understand what you say because there is a lot of distraction around. I have to concentrate very hard to hear and understand one thing at a time. You might think I am ignoring you – I am not. Rather, I am hearing everything and not knowing what is most important to respond to.

Get-togethers are exceptionally hard because there are so many different people, places and things going on that are out of my ordinary realm. This may be fun and adventurous for most people, but for me, it’s very hard work and can be extremely stressful. I often have to get away from all the commotion to calm down. It would be great if I had a private place set up to where I could retreat every time I go to get-togethers.

If I cannot sit at the meal table, do not think I am misbehaved or my parents have no control over me. Sitting in one place for even five minutes is often impossible for me. I feel so antsy and overwhelmed by all the smells, sounds, and people – I just have to get up and move about. Please don’t hold up your meal for me – go on without me, and my parents will handle the situation the best way they know how.

Eating in general is hard for me. If you understand that autism is a sensory processing disorder, it’s no wonder eating is a problem! Think of all the senses involved with eating. Sight, smell, taste, touch AND all the complicated mechanics that are involved. Chewing and swallowing is something that a lot of people with autism have trouble with. I am not picky – I literally cannot eat certain foods as my sensory system and/or oral motor coordination are impaired.

Don’t be disappointed if Mom hasn’t dressed me in the best clothes there are. It’s because she knows how much stiff and frilly clothes drive me buggy! I have to feel comfortable in my clothes or I will just be miserable. When I go to someone else’s house, I may appear crabby. Things have to be done in ways I am familiar with or else I might get confused and frustrated. It doesn’t mean you have to change the way you are doing things – just please be patient with me, and understanding of how I have to cope. Mom and Dad have no control over how my autism makes me feel inside. 

People with autism often have little things that they do to help themselves feel more comfortable. The grown-ups call it “self-regulation” or “stimming.” I might rock, hum, flick my fingers, tap a string, or any number of different things. I am not trying to be disruptive or weird. Again, I am doing what I have to do for my brain to adapt to your world. Sometimes I cannot stop myself from talking, singing, laughing, or doing an activity I enjoy. The grown-ups call this “perseverating” which is kinda like self-regulation or stimming. I do this only because I have found something to occupy myself that makes me feel comfortable. Perseverating behaviors are good to a certain degree because they help me calm down.

Please be respectful to my Mom and Dad if they let me “stim” for a while as they know me best and what helps to calm me. Remember that my Mom and Dad have to watch me much more closely than the average child. This is for my own safety, and preservation of your possessions. It hurts my parents’ feelings to be criticized for being over-protective, or condemned for not watching me close enough. They are human and have been given an assignment intended for saints. My parents are good people and need your support and not rude remarks.

Thanks for looking in to Nolan's world.

Ten Things That Made Me Happy Today

• Morning coffee...no explanation needed.
• Soren handing me the DVD case for Cars and saying "Wa Car!"  We rarely hear two word utterances!
• Our PG&E bill was $100 less than last month's bill.  Thank you, spring weather!
• Bear hugs from Todd...the best.
• Placing an order of much wanted books on Amazon.com.
• Playing like a crazy person at Pump It Up with my sweet boys.
• Dark chocolate covered pomegranate seeds.  Lord, have mercy!
• Reading during the boys' rest time.  Pretending my dirty bathrooms don't exist.
• No rain when rain was in the forecast.
• Emails from friends.

What's making you happy today?

Graduation Day!

Today marked Nolan's last day of ABA therapy!  We have absolutely loved the CEIA (Center for the Early Intervention of Autism) program and the therapists who have worked with him daily for the last 15 months.  His mornings will now consist of rough-housing with his brother before preschool--they are sure to both love it!

The CEIA gals had the most precious graduation "ceremony" for Nolan today.  He was so excited to wear a real cap and gown (even though he said it was his Superman cape.)  They also gave him a bag full of wonderful books, stickers, an adorably sweet Cookie Monster t-shirt that he was thrilled about, a special Toy Story balloon and cupcakes for him and the five other kiddoes who are in his session.  They also presented him with a certificate of achievement and a memory book of some of his most special projects and photos of him with all his therapists.  I was so overwhelmed with how much of an answer to prayer the CEIA staff has been for our family that I couldn't stop the tears from flowing!

After the ceremony I took him to McDonald's for a special treat.  There's nothing like McNuggets, french fries and ice cream to top off a perfect celebration!  Way to go, Nolan!  We are so proud of you!

Nolan and Miss Julia, the program director

Proud Momma!

Looking through the loot bag!

Hooray for cupcakes!

Nolan with Miss Julia, program director (to his right), Miss Monica, center director (to his left) and the amazing team of therapists!

Happy meal = happy kid

Nuggets for baby, too!